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“There are a lot of dudes who are worried about their sexuality, who think something is wrong with them because of this notion of a rigid sex paradigm we’ve created in our society,” Lyon says. “So that everyone’s sexuality is palatable to the masses, there are strict little boxes you have to be confined in. Second, Lyon says, straightish men who find his website express relief that a place exists for people who share their predilections.
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They’re curious about jerking off with another man, and wonder how they might go about it.
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They make a clear distinction between simply masturbating beside a man or watching porn with men fully shown (as opposed to POV porn), versus actually engaging in gay sex. He says he’s enjoyed buddy bating with friends for years, for instance, and that while men who might be gay can also use that interaction as a way of exploring that orientation, that when those men are gay or bisexual, things escalate pretty quickly. Over the years, Lyon has fielded his fair share of questions from men who write to him because they’re concerned about being bisexual, or confused about why they find this type of straightish pornography stimulating when they “shouldn’t.” In a podcast with clinical psychologist David Ley, who has written about the myth of sex addiction as well as a recent guide to ethical porn for men, they discuss what’s behind all this. Ley says, simply, that sexuality is a complex thing. “Our sexuality is developed and designed by evolution to compete with other men’s sperm. When a man is responding to the presence of the other man, he ejaculates harder, he gets erect again sooner and his ejaculate contains more sperm.” The shape of the penis works like a suction pump to remove semen in a woman’s vagina from another man.